News aggregator

What you missed on Sunday Kos ....

• DemFromCT took a detailed look at some of the more egregious examples of Republican explanations for their loss in Conservative Wishful Thinking.
• DavidNYC related how his hands-on experience on election night as a poll watcher changed his mind about the ritual of voting in person in How I Became a Vote-by-Mail Convert.
• Devilstower set readers straight on the real nitty-gritty of the coal industry--and busted some myths--while offering advice on where this sector can go from here in How to Save the Coal Industry.
• mcjoan talked about redemption, immediate needs, restoration, health care and the unitary executive in An Open Letter to Congressional Leadership.
• Meteor Blades offered congratulations to the victor (and former constitutional law professor), and eloquently urged a commitment to the return of the rule of law in Dear President-Elect Obama.
• brownsox warned against thinking the election of Obama means that the battle for the soul of our country is over in The Price of Victory.
• Plutonium Page outlined the places and ways in which change will most manifest itself in an Obama Defense Department in Wars, Weapons, and Warnings.

Sargent:

Barack Obama is reportedly sending signals that he wants Joe Lieberman to stay in the Dem caucus.

But let's not get distracted. The question isn't whether Lieberman gets to "stay in the Dem caucus" if he wants to. That's what Lieberman wants you to think the question on the table is. Rather, the issue is, will Dems let Lieberman keep his chairmanship of the Homeland Security committee?

The Lieberman camp has worked very hard to muddy the waters here. Lieberman aides have tried to persuade people that a vote to oust him from the committee is indistinguishable from a vote to oust him from the Dem caucus overall.

Don't believe it. Reid's people have made the situation very clear: The question of whether Lieberman remains in the caucus is up to him. He can vote how he wants, no matter what happens to his committee assignments.

But Lieberman's allies are using the Obama camp's claims that he wants Lieberman to stay "in the caucus" as a way of arguing against a punitive action against him that would entail stripping him of his current committee chairmanship."

So the question for the Obama camp is, Do they really countenance Lieberman, a colossal failure at this gig, to stay as Homeland Security chair? A lot is riding on the specific messages that come from Obama's camp on this question, and it's fair to ask for a specific answer.

No doubt.

Update: To be extra clear, here's the question Obama or his team needs to answer:

If Obama is "sending signals" to other Senators on this issue, and if he really plans on running the most open administration in history, then he needs to quit with the covert messages. Say so openly. He's either FOR Lieberman keeping that committee, or he's against it, or he doesn't care. But he needs to speak up or let the Senate handle the matter on its own.

Only a couple of hours or so until Leitch's Arizona Buzzsaw square off against my San Francisco Forty-Niners, and the big question remains: Who will be the first tonight to remove his pants inappropriately, Matt Leinart or Mike Singletary? Judging from the photo, Matt gets the presumptive nod, especially since our new 49ers coach has promised not to unbuckle for the remainder of the season. Hide your daughters, citizens of Glendale.

When it comes to the NFL, Will and I have the most dysfunctional rivalry ever. Some our our typical trash talk:

ME: The Cardinals play the 49ers tonight.

WILL: Your team will win, of course.

ME: Not likely. We have no cornerbacks, and our only kicker has gout.

WILL: (Curls into fetal position).

ME: Weeps.

As Niners Nation points out, this is actually an important game for Singletary. Even though he's been the head coach for two games, it was really still Mike Nolan's team before now. But now in game 3, with the team at 2-6, it's really Singletary's. Will there be a chance that we'll see him at the helm next year, or will it be, like, Mike Holmgren? Tonight will go a long way toward deciding that.

As always, thanks for your contiuned patronage of Deadspin and its sister blog, Bloody Elbow. And thanks for all the death threats which ended in "with regards,". That was a classy touch.

Rahm:

Asked what Barack Obama was elected to do, and what legislation he's likely to find on his Oval Office desk soonest, Mr. Emanuel didn't hesitate. "Bucket one would have children's health care, Schip," he said. "It has bipartisan agreement in the House and Senate. It's something President-elect Obama expects to see. Second would be [ending current restrictions on federally funded] stem-cell research. And third would be an economic recovery package focused on the two principles of job creation and tax relief for middle-class families." [...]

"[T]he lesson is to do what you got elected to do," said Mr. Emanuel. "Do what you talked about on the campaign. If you got elected, that's what people expect. Don't go off on tangents where part of your party is demanding an ideological litmus test. Neither of those things was part of the campaign."

Rahm cites instances were presidents are led astray by pursuing an agenda unmentioned during the campaign -- such as Clinton and gays in the military and Bush's meddling in the Schiavo case. He could've also mentioned Bush's efforts to privatize social security.

Lucky for us, Obama ran an issues-based campaign -- healthcare, alternative energies, and Iraq. Iraq! Rahm seems to have conveniently forgotten Iraq in this interview. We haven't.

But Rahm's overall point is solid -- there are no surprises in store for the American people. Everything on Obama's plate is something he promoted or promised voters. Obama's problem won't be trying to hoodwink them into supporting an agenda he hid during the campaign. His biggest problem will be fulfilling those promises.

People hoped and delivered for him. He now needs to deliver to them.

Due to it's huge backlog of horse assault cases, the English town of Bolton is only now getting around to passing sentence on Stoke City fan Shaun Allen, who was arrested for punching a police horse after a soccer game in August.

Allen was drinking with 15 fellow Stoke fans outside Reebok Stadium after the game with the Bolton Wanderers on August 16, when the following ensued:.

A police officer took a can off Allen and asked the group to move on, but Allen became abusive. Mark France, prosecuting, told the court that Allen struck the horse and ran off, but was arrested by other horses police officers. On Friday he pleaded guilty to causing harassment, alarm and distress.

Sentence? Banned from attending soccer games for three years, fined £200, must pay £100 court costs and a £15 victim surcharge. I assume that goes to the horse.

Of course his ultimate punishment will not be handed down until Dee Mirich convenes the Star Chamber.

Ban For Football Fan Who Hit Horse [The Bolton News]

MN-Publius gives us two new important bits of information:

Coleman “well knows” that these tallies change, because in his 2002 race the unofficial tally on election day gave him 8,920 votes more than the final total after canvass did.  Did Coleman kick and scream and threaten to take his ball and go home then?  No, he won so he actually complied with the law...  In fact, the election day totals almost always vary immensely from the final, official results.  Klobuchar gained 2,854 votes, Pawlenty lost 1,375, and Swanson gained an amazing 23,059!  The tallies not changing would be the unusual scenario.  Of course Coleman knows this, it’s just that in this case it’s beneficial for him to pretend this is an anomaly.

Remember, with Coleman's advantage currently at 206 votes, history bodes ill for him.

Which brings me to the point that will surely have Coleman and his surrogates feigning outrage.  Guess which County’s Canvassing Board hasn’t reported yet?  That’s right, Hennepin County — it’s supposed to report today.  This makes it completely possible that by the end of the day today, the unofficial tally will be +Franken.

Hennepin County is home to Minneapolis:

It's so small on the map that it's hard to see it glowing -- it's the little spec of blue about five counties up from the bottom, third from the state's eastern border, and houses about 23 percent of the state's voters.

While Coleman demanded that Franken concede and halt the state's automatic recount in order to save it $90,000, don't expect Coleman to do the same if Franken ends up leading once the vote is certified and final. Either way, a recount should go forward. The people of Minnesota deserve to be represented by the candidate they elected.

(Certification will happen by November 19th, with the recount hopefully finished by December 19th. So it looks like we still have a ways to go before we can crown a victor in our own electoral prediction contest.)

Update: Great stuff -- with graphs! -- in this diary by bitwise.

This youngster here is obviously a fan of the classic, straight-ahead running style of now-retired Dolphins running back Larry Csonka. Ouch. I should have listened to mom when she suggested beginning golf.

The question is, which hit was bigger: This one, or the one levied by the Eagles' Chris Gocong on the Giants' Brandon Jacobs on Sunday night? At least the kid held onto the ball.

Kickoff Returner Has Some Rib Damage [Busted Coverage]
Brandon Jacobs Gets Jacked Up [FanDome]

What to watch while you try in vain to return that broken eyePod ...

• NCAA Basketball: Presbyterian Blue Hose at Duke Blue Devils (7:00 p.m., ET) Devils vs. an entire religion? I like those odds. [ESPNU]
• NFL: Monday Night Football: San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (8:30 p.m., ET) Pro football on Monday night? How cute. [ESPN]
• Series: "Inside The Actor's Studio." Dave Chappelle interviews James Lipton (8:00 p.m., ET) Scrumtrulescent. [Bravo]

I've also heard from a Senate staffer that Obama has sent word that he wants Lieberman in the caucus. Now to be clear, the word isn't "let Lieberman chair Homeland Security", it's "keep him around". The logic is pretty obvious -- it allows Obama to look like he's not vindictive. (Kind of funny for a guy who just chose Rahm Emanuel as his chief of staff.)

Why should Lieberman lose his committee?:

1. Lieberman has been ineffective at his committee, shielding Bush from criticisms about the war and Katrina.

2. Lieberman took to the campaign trail and spoke at the RNC conference bashing Democrats and Obama on ... national security.

So functionally, Lieberman has been a Republican on the issue of National Security the past two years.

Why should Lieberman keep his committee?:

1. Lieberman votes with Dems 90 percent of time (except for National Security), and

2. and that's pretty much it.

Those facts actually suggest that the best solution is to move Lieberman from a policy area in which he is a functional Republican, over to an area where his philosophy is more agreeable to the Democratic majority. Seems obvious enough.

What are Lieberman's options?

1. Keep his committee, stay happy undermining Obama on Iraq and other national security issues.

2. Lose his committee, stay in the caucus as a backbencher.

3. Lose his national security committee, pick up a new committee where he lines up philosophically with Democrats.

4. Lose his committee, caucus with the minority Republicans.

If he switches allegiances, his already-tough reelection chances in 2012 become next-to-nil. He could do that in a fit of pique, but his political obituary would be written. And a Republican caucus that is increasingly hostile to dissent wouldn't be the most welcome home for a senator who ultimately, as noted above, votes with Democrats 90 percent of the time. Are we seriously to believe that Lieberman would switch parties and suddenly would be a reliable anti-choice, anti-environment, anti-labor vote for the GOP?

The case for stripping Lieberman of his Homeland Security committee chairmanship is open and shut. And not even Obama is arguing he should stay there (assuming the reports are correct).

So Democrats have three choices:

1. Let him keep his committee chairmanship,

2. Offer him a new one, or

3. Strip him of everything.

I suspect with Obama's edict (again, assuming such reports are accurate), #3 is off the table as it looks too much like retribution and for whatever bizarre reason, that's apparently bad. Democrats love playing the "battered spouse" bit. But option #2 is still available.

Sure, Lieberman has argued that if he loses Homeland Security he'll bolt, but he's bluffing. He's still got 2012 to think about, and being in a GOP minority with zero committee chairmanships won't do him any favors, either politically or substantively on policy matters.

So call his bluff. Give him some other committee chairmanship. If he doesn't like it and bolts, it won't be because Democrats pushed him out.

One last point: Whatever concerns the Obama administration might be making, the Senate is still run by Harry Reid. Or at least it supposedly is. If Reid can't be his own man, and run the place according to his own wishes, not only does he deserve to lose his leadership spot, but his seat when he's up for reelection in 2010.

We've seen what happened to Congress when they decided they no longer were an independent branch of government, rather an appendage of the White House. It wasn't pretty. We don't need more of the same.

Democrats are like battered spouses.

A high-level senate Democratic source tells me former President Clinton is making calls on Sen. Lieberman's behalf.

Here's the deal: Will and I were scheduled to participate in a "field trip" this evening but the fancy photographer hired for the story has suddenly fallen ill. She might not be able to attend. If she can't, I'd love to have a back up plan. Anyone in New York with photography experience (and good equipment) interested in doing this JOB at 7 p.m. this evening in Midtown, please email me immediately: ajd@deadspin.com

This will be a paid assignment should she fall through. Worst comes to worst, you watch football at an establishment where female employees are sometimes known to use a pole. (Long story.)

If you can help, please contact me immediately. It might not be fun, but it'll be interesting....

Bill Lee isn't famous because he was a good pitcher for a few years in the 1970s. He's famous (and beloved) because he has absolutely no filtering mechanism between his brain and his mouth. The man is a quote machine and so when Boston recently honored him, Mo Vaughn and Mike Greenwell by inducting them all into the Red Sox Hall of Fame, who do you think the reporters went to first to get some good sound bites. And boy, oh boy, did he deliver.

The bulk of his rant focused on the stupidity of Boston management vis-a-vis a certain dreadlocked slugger that happened to get traded away this season. Manny Ramirez is his kind of guy, you see, because he plays hard and he wins. So what if he takes a month off every summer and gets a little shove-y with elderly front office guys?

“You pick up the traveling secretary and you dust him off. You don’t say he was a pariah like Schilling said and everything else. He can kiss my ass.”

You really need to watch the whole thing, because there's so much more. Bill's ex-wives, Boston's racism, the history of idiotic Sox management—everyone gets a well-placed zinger sent their way and you can just see the delight on the reporters' faces as they realize for the first time what it's like talk to someone in sports who doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks, especially Curt Schilling. But you better care what Bill thinks, because he's always right.

[Some naughty language ahead, but with beeps.]

Ugh.

Former Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe signed papers Monday necessary to run for governor in Virginia next year.

McAuliffe told The Associated Press he set up a campaign committee and will tour Virginia for the next 60 days before making his candidacy certain.

He also said he would be announcing political advisers over the next week.
McAuliffe just finished a series of barnstorming campaign appearances across the state on behalf of Barack Obama’s presidential campaign. In each, he rallied local party activists and volunteers for Obama and the Democratic ticket.

He said he won’t formally announce a decision until Jan. 7, but neither his tone or nor his words were those of an undecided candidate.

I'm officially against him.

This will be a good primary, pitting McAuliffe and his Daddy Warbucks patrons versus Rep. Brian Moran (chairman of the House Dem caucus) and State Sen. Craig Creigh Deeds. Moran has Mark Warner's political team behind him.

Dude wants to sell his car, so he goes to his favorite site, bodybuilding.com, and posts a few photos. And to entice buyers, he has his girlfriend pose in them. Um, I can't really describe what results. [Bodybuilding.com, via Deuce of Davenport]

• Dems did pretty well in North Dakota last Tuesday.
• The day after the election, Obama was +8 job approval with Rasmussen. Nearly a week later, Obama is up +17.
• Republican Sen. Mel Martinez, on MTP, notes that his party's xenophobic tendencies could doom it into the future.

  The fact of the matter is that Hispanics are going to be a more and more vibrant part of the electorate, and the Republican Party had better figure out how to talk to them. We had a very dramatic shift between what President Bush was able to do with Hispanic voters, where he won 44 percent of them, and what happened to Senator McCain. Senator McCain did not deserve what he got. He was one of those that valiantly fought, fought for immigration reform, but there were voices within our party, frankly, which if they continue with that kind of rhetoric, anti-Hispanic rhetoric, that so much of it was heard, we're going to be relegated to minority status.

• Obama team is working on plan to close down Guantanamo Bay prison.
• From an email press release -- MSNBC has given Keith Olbermann a new four-year contract. Congrats to Keith!
• Palin gets her own dictionary definitions.
  1. An applicant lacking even basic job skills
  2. Someone supremely un-self-aware or lacking any relative sense of what he/she does or doesn't know.

  HR sent me another Palin for the marketing manager job.

• More props for Nate Silver. And yes, he was always a numbers freak:

  He “was a numbers fanatic,” said his father, Brian Silver, a political science professor at Michigan State University.

  “When we took him to preschool one time, we dropped him off, and he announced, ‘Today, I’m a numbers machine,’ and started counting,” Brian Silver said. “When we picked him up two and a half hours later, he was ‘Two thousand one hundred and twenty-two, two thousand one hundred and twenty-three...’ ”

  By kindergarten, he could multiply two-digit numbers in his head. By 11, he was conducting multivariate analysis to figure out if the size of a baseball stadium affects attendance (it doesn’t). By age 13, he was using statistics to manage a fantasy baseball team. When his parents refused to buy him computer games, he taught himself the Basic programming language and created his own.

• Damn right we're looking at Texas for 2012.
• Damn right. Treat DC as one big crime scene.
• Minnesota remains the good government/good citizen state, with 77.9% of eligible voters showing up at the polls. My home state CT seems like a bunch of slackers at  67.1 (make us a battleground and see what happens), but then there's W VA at 50.3 to make me feel better.  - DemFromCT
• Secret Service code names are often thought to be revealing of a president's character, so if you're expecting big changes, you might be pleased that the code name for President-elect Obama is Renegade. The rest of the new first family gets matching "R" names: Michelle Obama is "Renaissance," Malia is "Radiance" and little Sasha is "Rosebud."  How does Obama's name compare with his predecessors'? Bill Clinton was "Eagle." George H.W. Bush was "Timberwolf." Ronald Reagan was "Rawhide." Jimmy Carter was "Deacon."

  As for George W. Bush, his code name is "Tumbler." Whether that's from his problem with Segways, mountain bikes, or pretzels, only the Secret Service knows for sure. - Devilstower

• Burnt Orange Report's David Mauro is the only progressive blogger in line for a $10,000 blogging scholarship. Go vote for him.

• Who could hate a Muppet?: George Mason fires Gunston the Green ... Something. Again. Because the last thing you want in a team mascot is a easily lovable character that's family friendly and easy to market. [DC Sports Blog + The Realests]

• O boy: The Orioles know exactly how to get their fans fired up for baseball—a rally and "major" uniform announcement at high noon. In mid-November. That's quite an organization you got there. [Orioles Hangout]

• He's Downy soft: Cristiano Ronaldo believes skin care is important. "He likes his body to be smooth all over and would even use a hair removal cream. He would also use tubs of moisturiser, coating every part of his body, at least twice a day ... He loves looking at himself and playing with his hair." [Sports Crackle Pop]

• And Tatum Bell for Drain Commissioner: John Lynch for governor of Colorado in 2010? It depends—will his opponent be wearing shoulder pads too? [Westword]

• Just nine questions?: Seattle sports are kinda broken right now. But at least they have nice weat.... oh right. [Examiner]

From a 2005 roast of Rahm Emanuel. Somehow, Obama manages to make a story about Rahm losing part of his finger hilarious. Without spoiling the punchline, here's the video:

Everyone's favorite team will open the college basketball season tonight, and by "tonight" I mean 4:00 p.m. this afternoon and by "favorite team" I mean "Georgia Southern," who will tip off against Houston in the first round of the Coaches vs. Cancer tournament that formally begins the NCAA year. To be immediately followed by the nation's second-favorite critical and commercial darlings, the ... let's see ... yep, it's the Duke Blue Devils.

Currently ranked No. 8 in the country (because why the hell not?) the Coach K Krew is hosting the "Durham Regional" of this tournament that used to be just two unrelated games and not a 16-team bracket. I remember that because I am old—so old that I also remember when there was no 3-point line in college basketball and when the addition of that line changed the game forever. It was a huge deal at the time that has since become a joke, as it feels like every team nowadays takes more threes than twos. Now after 22 seasons and countless Valparaiso rallies, the three-point line is being moved back one foot—to 20'9"—which will spread defenses, clog the middle, turn mediocre shooters into bad ones, turn decent shooters into legends, kill the mid-majors, keep underdogs in games, eliminate furious comebacks, and make the 6'10" forward who likes to step out and take the long J obsolete. Or make him the most valuable player on the floor. You never really know with these things.

The best part, though, is that the women's line on those shared courts remains unchanged, which should lead to some hilarious Keystone Cop-like confusion. I can't wait for the first buzzer beater that isn't, because some hapless forward pulls up one foot too late and drains a very long two, when his team needed a three to tie.

The Duke game will be televised on ESPNU, which is kind of a shame when you think about it. Doesn't college basketball deserve some sort of nationwide opening night spectacle, complete with cheerleaders, Dick Vitale and a performance by Third Eye Blind? If half the schools in the country can sell out a practice in the middle of the night, surely we can get a tip-off game in primetime, right?

Moving One Foot Back Could Make the 3-Pointer a Long Shot [NY Times]
A Little Preseason Bracketology… [Rush The Court]
The New Season Is Here, One Last Preview Before Tip-Off [Storming The Floor]

P.S. I'm too disorganized to put together a team-by-team preview, even of the Top 25, but if you have you own blog and have a written breakdown of your favorite Division I team, send me a link and I'll try to compile as many of them as I can into one roundup later this week.. Again, we're not putting them directly on Deadspin ... just send me links. Get your own blog; it's not that hard!

Meet the Grantland Rice of freshman high school football: "On a glorious, sun-splashed morning at MacArthur High School on Saturday, a scattering of dads stood adjacent to the football field and watched our freshman sons collide, snap after snap, in a cacophony of collisions, grunts and whistles ... As the clock bled away on the game, the closing contest of the season, one father leaned close with his assessment. 'It is,' he said, 'the end of the innocence.'" [My San Antonio]

To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week.

So here's this week's column that digs up the bloated corpse of rejected commenters to parade them around for the entertainment of the masses.

Part of my job is to page through the pending comments that folks who want to become commenters leave on this here website. It's a pain, but I do it because I love Deadspin and I love making people sad. Once again, I've taken some of the worst comments that I've rejected and culled them for your enjoyment, because I know how much you folks love to laugh at the pain of others. Pull up your office swivel chairs and join me in some schadenfreude!

Remember when our own associate editor and puppy enthusiast Rick Chandler questioned the veracity of MMA fighter Lloyd Irvin's claims that he fought off armed burglars with his bare hands? Pending commenter FidelityCacharpa wasn't pleased with Rick:

Rick Chambers, you're a giant coward, how about you call him and ask him yourself? Or better yet, come to the academy in person and ask him yourself, man to man. I use the term "man" loosely in regards to you, however.

Oh, my mistake. He wasn't attacking our Rick Chandler, he was going after someone named Rick Chambers. Now I feel bad for banning you, person who probably was a spam commenter anyway!

Sometimes, we here at Deadspin incur the wrath of Barbaro fans, mostly because former editor Will Leitch thrived on the blood of fallen horses and couldn't stop laughing at the pain of horse lovers. And who can blame him, those animal activists are lunatics. Even worse, however, are people who ingest a bucket of PCP before trying to post. Just take a peek at pending commenter Jennifromtheblock's contribution:

We want a Board...We want a forum...What better place than Deadspin. Sorry Barbaro, no pun intended. TTHHAATS OOOKKHHAAY>III JJJUUSSST WWAANT TTO RRREESST IIN PPPEEAACCE MMMYY LLEG IISSS KKKIILLLIINNG ME. Or, maybe it was just his "Friends" that made him want to give up the ghost...

Yikes. Next time, lay off the angel dust and then try again.

Hey, remember that post back in September about the soccer mom who was packing heat at her 5-year-old's game? Well pending commenter AngelaDufie was none too pleased with our coverage.

Amazing how childish the comments here are. Not to take away from the boorish game of slinging insuts but I thought the adults may appreciate some facts and pertinent commentary... 1) It is well established that "open carry" is legal in Pa. Supreme court has clarified that several times. Also the court records that show "open carry" is not grounds for revocation of a persons license. 2) The sheriff has ignored the law and is using the abusing the authority of his office to make a personal "statement" (his own admission in the article today) by inappropriately revoking her license.

Angela then prattles on about more legal mumbo jumbo and even cites local ordinance codes an...zzzzzzzz. Also, there's nothing "childish" about a good comedy pyramid about guns and Capri Sun. Folks, if you've got a political agenda, I hear www dot I have some boring things to say dot com is looking for commenters.

Finally, here's your quarterly dosage of Philadelphia hatred, in honor of our beloved World Champion Phillies, from the desk of rejected commenter EdandHerman:

Sorry Buddy. I hate to break the news to you. Everybody hates Philadelphia. Ben Franklin would rather shove his Electric Kite up his keyhole than sit through any Philly pro sports game.

Yep, these are my rejected commenters.

These commenters, however, were smart enough to avoid being rejected because they made the Comments of the Fortnight:

Re: Excessive World Series Celebrations in Philadelphia

Doyle McPoyle: Not the bus shelter! Lenny Dykstra lives in there!

Re: Chris Berman's McCain/Obama MNF Interviews

jussstabitoutside: Both Berman and McCain went to the Gene Keady School of Combovers.

Re: The Rangers' Dead Hockey Player Problem

MattinglysSideburns: Dany Heatley checks in the mail everyday for that new best friend Gary Bettman promised to send him.

And of course, into every life a little tinkle must fall. Here's a couple of folks who pissed me off enough to have their commenting privileges seriously abated:

Say Goodbye To: ClintonPortishead

Why: Attempting to make a dirty Erin Andrews joke but coming up short when insinuating that folks would still be drinking pinot grigio wine from 2001. C'mon! Everyone knows you don't age white wine that long.

Temporarily Say Goodbye To: jmuskratt

Why: Being overly sensitive about race on a post that had nothing to do with race without making any hilarious jokes. Now serving a five-day suspension so he can read the post before commenting.